Thailand!

On the boat ride to the islands off of phuket.

The staff on the boat took a liking to the girls.

Eli and Mia swimming and snorkeling.

Eden is getting ready.

20 thai baht to use the bathroom.

A Beach on one of the islands we snorkeled at.

Eli is ready to feed the fish and snorkel.

Here they all are...even though they aren't underwater yet, they have the mouth piece in...

Eden isn't too sure yet, but later, she does get into it.

Eden and her hair braided.

Mia and her braids.

Tuk Tuk...taxi in Phuket. kids loved riding in them.

We saw Ronald a lot and Eden and Eli decided they needed their picture taken with him wherever we saw him.

Elephant riding.

Saying Hello to our ride.




We are so grateful we got to see God's creation in Thailand! It is so beautiful! nothing short of amazing!

Being freed from Fear

Ahh, once again it has been while since I have been able to blog. I knew coming to China was going to be an adventure, and an adventure it has been. We laugh a lot here. We have not only been learning about the culture, but I have also been learning about myself. This story isn't quite the same as my other posts. I try to blog the fun stuff that people will enjoy reading, but I thought this was blog worthy as it chronicles individual growth I have experiences as a result of our move to China. I warn you it is a deep realization for me, but God is so good. He is so good that I could not let His goodness to me go without sharing.

So here it is:
After learning that we were moving to China, I began to have a lot of anxiety, which would turn into panic attacks leaving me at times incapacited. I would be gripped by the fear of something bad happening, and the fear of death. I soon realized that I needed professional help. Through God's goodness to me, I was lead to a naturopathic college in Scottsdale, which started my journey into overcoming my anxiety. I thank the one true God for meeting me where I was at. As I acknowledged what was causing me to be fearful and going to the naturopath, the frequency and intensity of my anxiety decreased immensly. I would go months panic and anxiety free. I recognized that the move to China was a source in bringing on my fear, and was able to deal with that, thinking that once I got here, I would be done with fear and anxiety forever. What I failed to realize is that moving to China was a catalyst, but there was a deeper cause lying within. So, after moving here, and living here for 7 months, my anxiety had not left me, but continued to rear its ugly head. God is a provider though, and through a neat little invention called Skype, I am able to continue talking with my naturopathic doctor. But He is also a God of abundance, and has provided a Doctor of Chinese Traditional Medicine for me here in China. About 2 1/2-3 weeks ago I started feeling very anxious and went to the CTM doc for help. He was able to calm me down physically with acupuncture, but told me there was an emotional part that needed to be dealt with as well. We set up an appointment to see if we could unlock this emotional hold. The appointment itself was a source of anxiety, but I went, afraid to find out what would be discovered.
As he asked questions, he learned something I already knew, I have a fear of death and dying, which I have had since I was a little girl. What he knew, but I didn't, was that it is not normal for little children to be afraid of dying, not like I was. It astonished me as I realized that there were no other children I knew that were gripped by that fear like it gripped me. As long as I could remember I have had this fear. I would sit on the steps, the only place in the house where you could not see any windows, and I would be afraid. I would tell my parents, and they would try to encourage me saying I would live to be 100. I would tell my twin sister at night time, and she would tell me to think happy thoughts, and even help come up with happy thoughts to think of, yet this fear has always been with me. I believe and know that Christ conquered death on the cross and we have victory in Him, but still I carry this fear. It has become a bag that I have always had, almost like forgetting your glasses are on your face, or your hat is on your head.
So, we dug deeper, and began to uncover when I picked up this bag as a child and started to carry it. Up came memories, specific moments appeared as snapshots in time.
I remembered being a little girl, not sure of my age, and a family friend had died. She was older, and we had visited them frequently. The exact snapshot in time was at her funeral, as I stood by her casket, I touched her. Her body was so still, and very cold. I remember at the moment I touched her, fear entered my heart. This was a picture of death.
We dug deeper still. The next memory: I was a little girl in elementary school. My grandparents were visiting and I was sick. I had to stay home from school, but I had a choice. I could either go visit people with my grandparents, or go deliver papers with my dad. I wanted to go with my dad, but I knew the smell of the papers would make me nauseous, so I went with my grandparents. That very day my dad was in a serious car accident.
The snapshot moment: He was lying on the floor in our house, scraped and hurt. I can even see him lying there now. But then I heard it..."If Vicki had been in the car, she would have been sitting where the car got hit. She would have died." There it was, staring me right in the face, the moment I picked up the bag. It is amazing the kind of people we are. We can have something significant happen to us, and pack it away, and we get used to carrying it. This fear became a part of me. It was the way I was, and it never dawned on me that it could be different. It never dawned on me that I didn't have to carry this fear.
I think we carry so many things with us, that they become our normal load, and we don't even realize we can put them down. We have permission to put the bag down and continue on. We have permission to leave it behind. But first, we have to acknowledge we are carrying it.
God brought me to China, a trip that was a catalyst of so many panic attacks, to help me see a bag of fear that I have been carrying. He is now helping me to put the bag down and we are emptying together. I see that little girl sitting on the steps afraid, but it is becoming more like a movie to me. I also vividly see the two walls, the only place in the house where there are no windows, and I know there is significance behind that, but at this moment I am just so glad to have one less bag to carry.

The Bible says the truth will set us free. I have faced the truth of a fear and I am becoming free. There is another freedom that is much more significant. John 8:34-36 "Jesus replied, I tell you the truth, anyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." If you are a slave to sin, you don't have to be. In God's family, you are forgiven and free. You can't free yourself though. If you are guilty, the punishment is yours to bear. Here is where the freedom comes in Jesus paid the penalty, took your punishment, when He suffered and died on the cross. If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed!

Traveling in China

I haven't been able to blog for over a month....We have been on the go. This is a long one, so buckle down and enjoy:)


Hong Kong: "Where's Mia?"


Hong Kong: If only I could find where they sold some H2O.



Hong Kong Disneyland: It only took getting onto the Grand Marshal carriage in our Mickey Mouse hats to give the surprise away to the kids that we were actually going to lead the parade.





Benxi: Proof that we beat the raft of Chinese men. They were great sports though!

Benxi: I don't think Eli will have a problem of ...oh slipping out of his life SAVING jacket, if he falls out of the raft going over the little rapids.

Benxi: Everyone asks to see a squatty potty...here is a pretty decent stall. You don't flush the tp here, you throw it in the garbage, or on the floor, whatever...it's all pretty go with the flow, willy nilly here with things like that...no rules.

Benxi: I always knew elephants hid out in caves hugging each other...I just never had the evidence, until now. (I don't think they are in any danger of the tiger lurking behind them)

Benxi: Our fish being cooked behind our table at the restaurant by the Benxi Water Caves. My mom was wondering about health codes or cooking standards....that is just too much paper work and red tape...do what you want.

(notice the rusty tank behind him....I'm pretty sure that is okay, because I also see an up to date fire extinquisher under the table)

Benxi: Here the cook is slamming the fish on the ground, while Mia watches in horror. I think she thought he was going to put the fish back into the little pool...unfortunately the fish's life took a turn in another direction.

Benxi: The kids having a fun time fishing:) (before the little...killing of the fish incident)

Hong Kong

What a great trip that was. The first night we were able to stay down a dark alley in a condo with metal bars on the windows and a sliding metal door. After we hiked up 7 floors with our luggage and found a very small condo with the bathroom in the kitchen and very small rooms, we kind of decided it wasn't quite where we wanted to spend the next 5 nights. You could say it really wasn't a "family friendly" place. I guess with Craigslist you win some and you lose some. We chalked that one up as a loss.

So the next day we were off to a hotel. So we had a long walk to the MTR (train/subway) station, 5 million people bussling about and all we can hear is the clacking of feat. Three kids, luggage and grandma in tow, we make our way to the hotel. AFter a bad start to our experience in Hong Kong, it did in fact get better. You can really only go up after being in the first place.

The next day was Disney Land, where we were able to be Grand Marshals in the Disney parade. Our kids didn't know until it was actually happening. Even Mia thought it was pretty cool. She is kind of above "characters" now that she is in 3rd grade, but being part of the parade ranked on the coolness factor. You could kind of view it more as "Hey everyone, look at the Americans we found." That is okay though, we enjoyed it and everyone got Mickey Mouse ear hats with our names embroidered on the back, even grandma.

We also got some Hong Kong shopping in. Just a few ....million people...in one place. I just wish they had signs advertising what they sold.

On the WAY to Benxi

We took a Saturday day trip to the Benxi water caves. Matt couldn't join us, so after dropping him off at work at 730am, we hit the road for Benxi. A little confusion on how long it would take. I heard anywhere from 2.5 -5 hours. Maps are a little difficult to come across here, but after a long time googling and surfing the web I did come up with a main road express way route. Our driver hadn't been there before, so was a little unsure of exact directions. Since they don't really do maps or mapquest here, their way of handling it is pulling over and asking for directions, as many times as needed. This adds time the trip...so I'm guessing it is going to be more along 4-5 hours. Around 1 pm we are very close the caves, but still haven't eaten lunch. Not many fast food restaurants in rural China, so as we are driving through a little village part of outer Benxi we decide we should eat lunch before actually going to the caves. I tell my driver and he pulls over. Their way of advertising is having people stand outside and wave for you to come to their restaurant. We pull up and as soon as they see me, a foreigner in the front seat, they call for others to come out. Many people come out to greet us and I know as soon as I open the back door to 3 kids, they are going to go wild. Sure enough, they see Eden and one of the ladies grabs her and starts carrying her into the restaurant. Eli and Mia are not wanting to exit the van. After we coax them out we end up going around back of the restaurant to eat outside. To our delight there is a little pool with fish in it... and the kids can fish. Perfect distraction from a 5 hour car ride. There is a nice seating area and they set a table up for us.

The kids are having a blast fishing and catching fish. They are proudly displaying one of their fish when a man comes and takes it...and slams it on the ground to kill it. It still is flopping a tiny bit, so he slams it on the ground again. Mia and Eden kind of went from smiles to a little bit of a shocked look. Next thing, they bring it behind our table and grill it. A whole New meaning to "fresh fish".

Benxi Water Caves

We finally make it to the caves at 2pm. After getting tickets we head to the caves. Inside is cold and damp. Thankfully they supply warm long jackets to wear. As we near the jacket bin, we smell that, well... sweaty body odor smell. We reach the jacket bin and I can only think of sweaty, smelly locker rooms. It kind of seemed like that smell penetrated my skin and clung to me, even long after the coat was off. The caves were very amazing and well worth the 5 hour drive. It is so neat to see this natural phenomenon. I have even begun to appreciate the effort put into making it even more appealing and am getting used to the cute little animal statues that they like so much here. Two cute little elephants hugging each other, lions and tigers, a woolly mammoth...all living together harmoniously inside of a water cave. It is funny, because they put these statues there, and of course we have to get pictures in front of them. The natural cave itself is worth it, but the animal statues found inside are the stamp of China.

We also got to go rafting as part of the entrance ticket. We head to the river rafting area. We all put on our well fitted life jackets. I think, boy I really hope Eden doesn't fall out of the boat...that would really be a predicament. There is a man with an oar helping us get into the raft. I am thinking, it is a good thing this man is going to raft us down the river, because we wouldn't get far if me, my 3 kids, grandma and driver had to do it. Well, evidently, he was just helping us get into the raft and that is exactly what was going to happen, me, my 3 kids, grandma, and Mr. Xia, our driver, have to raft ourselves. At the same time another group of Chinese men are in another raft, and it is kind of turning into an unsaid "race". Who can get to the end first, this group of foreigners with little kids and a grandma, or all men. We didn't exactly raft in a straight line, and after running into their raft (and trying to grab onto the rope so they could pull us) we were laughing so hard my poor driver was doing all the work. It looked like they might be waiting for us at the end. It turns out they didn't really know how to raft and row either, and we passed them...and won!:) They were all good sports...although I almost told them they were too slow in Chinese, but didn't want to accidently say anything else.

Way home from Benxi

So after all of that, we decide we are going to head home and not stay the night. My driver is one of the best drivers out there and one of the hardest working and most honest people I have ever met. He tells me it won't be as long because now he knows the way. Unfortunately, there are no maps easily available (not sure if I mentioned that yet), and their signs are not always clear, even to the Chinese. So we end up on the wrong express way, and go the 6 hour route home (the way there was the 2.5-5 hour route....) I've always liked sitting extra hours in a van with three tired kids and no where to stop to grab a bite to eat, in the pitch dark on roads with no signs indicating that you indeed are heading the right direction, Especially when the express way ends because of construction and you get to take little side roads through small villages on roads with no names. We did make it back. Matt waited up for us and had dinner waiting. So around 11pm we finally had dinner. My mom and I walk in and all we could do is...well...laugh.

Such is traveling in China.

o

A "China" moment

We are coming up on the 4 month marker and I think we are doing pretty well. People ask if we are adjusted... and I feel like we are. We can get around, negotiate prices at the markets, have conversations in Chinese and are able to enjoy activities, especially living less than a mile from the ocean beach and Discoveryland. Then we, or maybe I should say "I", will have a day, or a moment. I think it is an accumalation of all the little things that are fustrating that can be handle on a daily basis, but then they sort of build and build and build, until they accumulate...and then you go crazy. I had one of those last week. Here in Dalian, we have a few choices of chain type "American" food...Starbucks, Subway, KFC, McDonalds, DQ and Pizza Hut. I was at Subway and although it sometimes takes 20 minutes to get a sandwhich made and I want jump over the counter, make my sandwhiches, and be done, we endure the at times 20 minutes process, with people taking cuts at times. But this day, we were enduring the process and I as am paying, I didn't think the total was right. They always charge extra for cheese, and although I know this, for whatever reason, I disagreed and told them I didn't want to pay the 2 RMB for cheese on Mia's sandwhich. I said I thought it should be free and did not want to pay for it. The poor gal behind the counter was trying to say that they had to charge for cheese and I ranted about not wanting to pay for it. People in line behind me stopped and were watching me argue over paying for the cheese. Another staff came over to help the gal... Then, well, it hit me. I was arguing over .29 $ at one of the places that DOESN'T negotiate prices. Yes, everywhere else, you can ask to pay less, but at the American chains, they don't do that. So after I paid the total, I apologized, smiled, said "God bless you" in Chinese, and walked away. Yes, this poor little chinese gal watched me go through a roller coaster of emotions, and then smile and give her a blessing. I'm not sure if she thought that was odd at all.

View from the top. Either side is a long way down.



Crevice to fit through on the left...and yes, this is part of the hike.
I opted to stay with the little kids.


Not sure if I would fit through here. Did I mention this is a
one way hike...and once you start you have to finish.



Top of one of the peaks.

On Father's day, Matt did the Phoenix Mountain hike in Dandong, but I personally would refer to it as the "don't slip and fall or you will plummet thousands of feet to your death and we don't want you to die because we love you and it's Father's day" hike. I don't think pictures do it justice. This hike involved, going through a dark cave, fitting through narrow crevices, pulling yourself up stairs on the cliff side of the mountain and walking across a balance beam tip of a mountain holding onto railings, that who knows how are attached to the mountain. It was a 4 hour hike that he will always remember. I think he is amazing and I am very proud of him for not only attempting it, but finishing it. I am also very thankful he didn't slip and fall off the mountain.

Our first weekend trip

The right side of the river is Dandong, China, and the left side is N. Korea.

The half of the bridge leading to N. Korea that was destroyed. You can see the ferris wheel that never turns on the other side.

Portion of the great wall in Dandong that we hiked.

The boat we rode back to the beginning of our hike. The other side of the river is N. Korea.

The bridge connecting China and N. Korea that the U.S. bombed. We are at the very edge of it where it is all twisted.

If you visit or live in China, the one thing you have to see is what China is most famous for...the Great Wall. So we took our first weekend trip to see a portion of the Great Wall in Dandong, which is about 3 hours north of us on the China/North Korea border. Dandong not only boasts the Great Wall, but it also has a lot of history, including the Korean War. A part of this war included the U.S. bombing a bridge over a river that connected North Korea to China. China and North Korea were allies during this war, and Americans were not. Now there is a musuem in Dandong and the name of this musuem is really easy to remember. It is called "Museum Commemorating the War to Resist American Agression and Aid Korea" Needless to say, it probably isn't the wisest thing to admit that your an American in this particular area. Not that anything bad would happen, but with a museum commemerating American Aggression, I wouldn't mind being associated with, oh let's say, Canada, for the weekend. Our friend's driver said if we were asked where we were from, we shouldn't say America. The thing is, one of the first questions Chinese people learn to ask in English is "Where are you from?" The first night there, we are out walking near the bridge, speaking English, and people stop to watch us. One man then asks Matt, in English, "Where are you from?" Matt, not wanting to say he is American, replies in Chinese "Wo ting bu dong," meaning, "I don't understand." The one question people learn how to say perfectly in English, and Matt replied in Chinese that he doesn't understand the question. I think they thought it strange that Matt wouldn't understand ...but, it gave us a good laugh.

The contrast between the two countries today is amazing. The China side shows big city buildings with bustling night life and lights...and across the river is North Korea, with few buildings and going completely black after the sun goes down. North Korea does have a ferris wheel, we have been told has never turned.

After hiking the Great Wall, we took a return path on the ground, which we didn't know lead to stairs going up the cliff side of a mountain and across a suspension bridge. So with little ones in tow, we took the option of getting on a little boat on the river bordering North Korea. The boat didn't appear to be the most sturdy, but the 13 of us piled on. Eli wasn't getting on and when I told him to get on, he said he wanted to be the last one. I asked him why and he said he wanted everyone else to get on first because he wanted to make sure it wasn't going to sink. Letting other people go first to make sure it safe... now that sounds oddly familiar to me.

Have you ever fed a leopard through a chain link fence?

Zoos are universally fun, especially when you can see the animals up close and personal. We were able to buy food and feed brown bears, polar bears, wolves, leopards, and black leopards. All in all we bought 2 cups of dead fish, 1 live fish, 1 cup of fruit, and 3 dead chickens, well worth the $9.The only thing between us and the wild cats was a chain link fence. We heard a black leopard purr from inches away. I don't know of a zoo in the states that would let us get this close...granted if fingers went through the fence, they may be bitten off...so the safety standard is a little different. The worker shoved the chickens through the fence, so we were well out of dangers way. The bears danced for their food. The kids threw the fruit and dead fish to the bears, but unfortunately not all the food made it across the chasm. All 3 kids also got to sit on an elephant's trunk as it went onto its 2 back feet. Matt and I could have as well, but we opted to let the kids go first...just to make sure it was safe. After our eventful time at the zoo we continued to explore the City of Dalian and went to a beautiful scenic road by the ocean. We saw some very Chinesee pagodas on a cliff right on the ocean, and thought we would hike to it. We pull off the road to the park, which ended up being a "wedding park." It was a good thing Eden wore her beautiful fancy dress. She also wore knee high purple socks and tennis shoes, but a fancy dress worthy of wedding pictures none the less. Wedding parties wanted her in their photos, purples socks and all.